Betrayal Is The Cruelest Form of Honesty
by northernspy1
Summary: After the events of "Always", Castle finds a depressed Detective Ryan at The Old Haunt and finds out the truth about why he transferred to Homicide, and why he blew the whistle on Beckett and Esposito. Oneshot, rated T for mentions of drugs, guns, and alcohol. Please R&R!


**Disclaimer: I own nothing, which is very disappointing**

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The sun was just setting as Richard Castle walked into The Old Haunt. He stopped in the doorway and gazed about the room, taking in the day's catch. Aspiring novelists, playwrights, and screenwriters alike sat in the shadowy booths, creating their respective works. As he looked over to the bar, he noticed one figure who didn't exactly fit in with the rest of the crowd. Detective Ryan sat hunched over a glass of whiskey, and by the look on his face it wasn't his first drink that night. Castle carefully approached his friend and colleague, wondering why Ryan would be here alone. He gently reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Ryan jumped at the touch and looked back at Castle, his blue eyes wide and bloodshot. Castle sat down beside him, biting his tongue to keep from making the obviously dejected detective feel interrogated. Ryan looked back at his drink and sighed, trying to come up with an explanation for his state that didn't include the true story. Realizing his mission was futile he turned to Castle and began.

"I ratted out Esposito and Beckett to Gates," he admitted, "and got Espo suspended and Beckett quit. Now they think I betrayed them and Espo won't speak to me or listen to my reasons." Castle nodded. Beckett had told him a slightly more in depth version of the story the night before. Ryan sighed again.

"I don't know why they're so upset; they could've died that day," he continued, his voice slowly growing uncharacteristically angry. "They don't know what it's like to be really betrayed. Betrayal doesn't end with your life being saved, it ends with your life in danger, or no life at all! Beckett just thinks that because she lost her mom she's the only person who's ever been hurt by anything. And I guess Esposito's old partner betrayed him, but he was fine!" Ryan was speaking through gritted teeth now, his volume approaching shouting level. Castle placed his hand on his shoulder again and felt him calm down a bit. As Ryan's deep, angry breaths slowed, Castle risked asking.

"What exactly are you talking about Ryan? What does it mean to be betrayed?" he asked. The look he received made him begin to regret opening his mouth, but instead of punching his lights out like expected, Ryan simply threw his drink down his throat. He stared at the bar as he debated ways to answer the question. Finally, he decided to simply come clean.

"Castle," he began, "Did I ever tell you the reason why I transferred from Narcotics to Homicide?" Castle shook his head. Ryan nodded. "It happened about a year and a half before you started coming to the precinct. I had been working as a narc for about two years then, mostly for undercover work because I looked so young. Drug busts usually went smoothly since most dealers didn't even think I was out of college yet." Castle nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"My partner- his name was Grayson Matthews- was great at being undercover. He looked more like a dealer than anyone I've ever met, and that helped him build trust in the groups we'd bust. He'd break protocol a few times along the way, but it was always for the best."

"This one time we were on this big job, a group of dealers and manufacturers we'd been investigating for months. It was busting night, and we got to this group's apartment headquarters and went over the plan. I asked him where our backup was and he told me they were camped out in the basement, waiting for our signal to come up. I had my gun, just in case things got messy."

"We went in and everything was going smoothly, until I gave the signal. Nothing happened. SWAT didn't come, backup didn't come. I tried to stall, thinking maybe the radio signal had been interrupted somehow and they hadn't heard. Suddenly, Grayson grabs my gun. Asks me what I'm doing with it. He shouts out to the whole group that I'm a narc, and they turn on me. I was trapped, unarmed with nowhere to run. Turns out, he had told our backup that the bust was off. That the intended deal had been moved and that they didn't need to come. He told them that because his half-brother was a member of that gang and he wanted to protect him."

Castle sat still, gaping at him. "How did you survive that- what happened?" he asked, shocked. Ryan let out a bitter laugh.

"As it happened, ATF had been investigating a tip about that same gang selling unregistered guns to ex-cons. They had one of their agents undercover there as well, and when he heard I was a cop, he called in _his_ backup: three other agents who had been camped out in the apartment down the hall for the last eight weeks. They came in, outnumbered but outgunning the gang. I got shot in the shoulder in the chaos, and my so called "partner" got away. But I was safe. If that agent hadn't been there, I would've been dead."

"The captain gave me six months leave until I recovered, and as soon as I was out I put in for a transfer to another department. Homicide had an opening for a new detective, so when my leave was up I was put on Beckett's team, partnered with Esposito. Grayson was never caught, but his half-brother was killed that night. So wherever he is, I imagine he blames me for what happened and is probably planning how to best take me out." Ryan closed his eyes and sighed. "That's what being betrayed is. When the person you trust most has left you with nowhere to go but down."

Cast stared, amazed that Ryan had lived through such an ordeal. No wonder he never talked about his past. He tried to think of something, _anything_ to say to make the detective feel comfort. Nothing came to mind, and he simply continued to stare as Ryan got off the barstool and began to leave. Before he had gotten too far he turned back.

"Tell Beckett I said hi," he stated coldly before exiting, leaving a still speechless Castle alone in the bar.


End file.
